Seahawks : Do you think a team that had to go to OT against Houston and Tampa Bay (at home) could win the Superbowl? Me neither. Wilson chokes and disappears. Tom Hanks cries. Also, 3 more Seahawks test positive for PED's and get suspended for the playoffs.
Denver : That offense is oh so dreamy, but that defense is the stuff nightmares are made of. Not even 24 pt halftime leads are safe.
New England : Decimated by injuries on both sides of the ball. Also, Rex Ryan rubs his creepy feet all over BB's hoodie, getting loser germs all over it.
New Orleans : Can't win on the road, won't host a home game.
San Francisco : Raiders fans ambush Kaepernick outside of Candlestick Park and put him in a coma. Why? Because they're Raiders fans. Duh!
Indianapolis : Luck and the Colts are so excited over their first playoff win, they fall into "Happy to be here" land and blow it in the second round.
Carolina : Cam Newton.
Kansas City : Do I need a reason? They're just not that good.
Chargers : Got in the playoffs on a missed penalty. Karma's gunning for them. Also, when Phillip Rivers is your QB... Phillip Rivers is your QB.
Philadelphia : *snicker* Come on...
Green Bay : Rodgers sprains a groin doing the 'discount double check'. Plus that weak D.
Cincinnati : Actually wins the Super Bowl, then the Commish comes out and says "Sorry, we can't have this. Replay the game until the Bengals lose."
Why your team won't win the Super Bowl
Final reason your team won't win the Super Bowl.
The whole NFL shows up in NY in the first week of February, declares "This was a bad fucking idea." As they chatter their teeth to pieces in frigid NY and decide to go have some hot chocolate and settle it on Madden instead.
Because an outdoor SB in NY is a BAD FRICKIN IDEA!
The whole NFL shows up in NY in the first week of February, declares "This was a bad fucking idea." As they chatter their teeth to pieces in frigid NY and decide to go have some hot chocolate and settle it on Madden instead.
Because an outdoor SB in NY is a BAD FRICKIN IDEA!
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Guardians
- Posts: 5004
- Joined: Sun Jan 29, 2012 1:00 am
- Location: Tallahassee, FL
- Name: Pat Gillespie
Football needs to be played in the cold. Better yet, the snow. Real fans can handle that...it's the suits who go to Super Bowls who won't. I'd love to see a 13-10 Super Bowl.Padres wrote:Final reason your team won't win the Super Bowl.
The whole NFL shows up in NY in the first week of February, declares "This was a bad fucking idea." As they chatter their teeth to pieces in frigid NY and decide to go have some hot chocolate and settle it on Madden instead.
Because an outdoor SB in NY is a BAD FRICKIN IDEA!
