Giants get:
Danny Duffy
Michael Brantley
Howie Kendrick
Aaron Hicks
Wendell 12-Rijo
A's get:
Xander Bogaerts
Jackie Bradley
Adam Dunn
So yeah, I promised you all it got shockinger, if the above looked a little bit off to you then you might have caught the other piece of the deal, which is that in exchange for getting to ride Xander Bogaerts to the moon Nils is letting me take over the Giants after this season (pending ExCo approval, and if you guys say no this deal gets undone

). The deal actually started out with an offer around Lewis Brinson and Rafael Devers, and Nils said something about Addison Russell, which piqued my interest, but we couldn't get there on a Russell/Bogaerts deal. Then he made the above offer minus the Dunn/Rijo swap, which I strongly considered but I mean Xander! Then we talked a little more and I made some kind of comment like "I've wondered what I'd have to offer you to get the Giants" and it just kind of sprung from there.
In baseball terms I'm pretty happy. Danny Duffy is a legit #2 after Kluber for next year, which will allow me let my mid-rotation guys (McCarthy, Roark, etc.) be mid-rotation guys instead of aces like I was counting on them for this year. Michael Brantley can really play, in an ideal world I'm platooning him with JD in left next year for a stupid projection awesomeness. Howie Kendrick plugs the one real hole in the lineup (sorry Danny Espinosa, I like you as a utility guy but you aren't cutting it). Aaron Hicks is a flier to be an all glove no bat CF in place of Bradley.
That being said, in some ways Z is the inspiration for this deal in his review of the Betances trade he reminded us all that this league should be about fun first, and it's way more fun for me to get to be the Giants as opposed to their cheap cross-bay facsimile (sorry Billy but it will always be true), and for Nils it's way more fun to have Xander who should be the star of his favorite team (especially now that they've mercy killed Stephen Drew and are letting him go back to short, we now have two good examples (Xander and Profar) of what happens when you mess with a kid at the major league level).
You'll notice that I haven't touched the last piece of the deal, Dunn and Rijo. I gave up quite a bit to get Adam Dunn (Chris Archer, Travis d'Arnaud, and Michael Ynoa) before he collapsed, but I still have a soft spot for the Big Donkey, so Nils agreed to give him a good home now that I can't use him at DH anymore. Rijo is a potential future utility guy who might be something more, and will make more sense in the NL I think.
I'm bummed that this is happening in a down year, I would have liked to take one last division title from Brett P. (not that it made a damn bit of difference last year) before I went, but I couldn't pass the opportunity up. Stephen, I'm going to miss beating you up in H2H, Ropers, I'm going to miss you randomly popping up and winning every 3 years, Nate, we didn't get a chance to build up a rivalry so best of luck to you. Jag, Levine, Shawn, I look forward to the challenge next year, Bren, I look forward to you remaining irrelevant.
PS, we're soliciting new names for the blog. The leader in the clubhouse is Torture