IBC

I dunno how often anyone reads craigslist..but there is a thing on the side that has best of craigslist which is about 1,000 different postings that people voted "the best". Here's a bunch of them..

I realize this is a safe blue state, but in a last ditch effort to spread the good word of Obama and offer up my totally awesome blowjob to anyone (especially Republicans) who vote for Barack Obama for president tomorrow!

My blow job is so good, I could probably get McCain to vote for Obama, assuming it didn't stop his heart dead cold.

Palin too, for that matter because I rock at that as well.

And while I can only have a local reach in this effort, it'd be awesome to see if this could spread around the country and have there be lots of blowjobs for Obama.

Yes we can!

ETA: Wow, this is really popular so far. I'm sorry I won't be able to get to all the Republicans and undecided voters (I only have so much free time), but keep on with the Democratic spirit guys!

ETA: Thanks everyone for the replies! Count 3 of NY's votes for Obama as my doing. As for everyone else who I couldn't respond to/blow (there were over 100 responses!) I hope you'll consider some of Obama's good points as you head into the booths tomorrow.

A hobby of mine that nobody knows about is I like to be the first customer to take a shit at a new business. I find all the new businesses opening up such as grocery stores, Home Depots, restaurants, etc and I will walk in there first minute they are open for business and go right to the men’s room and take a huge shit. I have been doing this for 6 years now and have been the first customer to shit in over 110 stores throughout the area. I always buy something after so I can really be a customer. The night before I usually eat some bean burritos from Taco Bell and follow it up with a 20oz coffee on my way to the store early the next morning so I get the bubble gut which allows me a better chance of destroying the bathroom. I have been the 1st person to shit in many new businesses throughout Northern VA. I currently have 3 businesses that I’m waiting to open up for the public. I will make sure I’m the 1st to shit in the bathroom as a paying customer. I usually flush but sometimes if it’s a massive one that requires a lot of toilet paper I will just leave it sitting, sort of like my calling card.

I have a very small penis. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I've come to terms with it and now I've even found someone who will date me in spite of it. Nevertheless, the moment when I expose myself has always provided a bit of consternation and some interest moments. At the suggestion of some others on other board, I'm posting a few anecdotes based on this experience. Enjoy.

From a blonde who was chewing gum at the time..."So, I mean, is this it???"

"Yikes, Andrea said you were small but...wow!"

From another girl, holding it between her index finger and thumb, "Why don't you just use your hand."

I had just gone home with a girl who provided some 420 fun, "Wow...I hope you know how to eat this cooch!"

From a girl who gave me oral, "Well at least there's no chance I'll gag!"

Doggystyle and balls deep, "C'mon baby, you can do it!"

From a sweet girl with a complete look of shock, "Well, it makes your balls look really big."

"Oh, cute. It's like a little button!"

"Do you think it'll ever get any bigger?"

"Do you mind if I just rub it for a while?" And after I came, "Wow, I never thought something so small would make such a mess!"

From the drunk girls...

"You've got to be kidding me! Can I take a picture of that!?!?"

Giggling..."I've seen small cocks before but goddam"

"Sorry, but this is just f'ing pointless!"

As soon as I lowered my pants, "You poor thing!"

After sex and cuddling, "I should hook you up with my friend Stacy. She was saying that small dicks don't bother her."

Mean drunk girl, "I seriously think this is the size of a paperclip. I mean one of those bigger ones." She actually got a paperclip out of her purse and compared.

On breaking up..

"Good luck ever finding someone who wants that pindick."

"I'm telling every single one of my friends that you have a three inch cock. Keep fucking whining and I won't even exaggerate that much!"

"I lied. It is by FAR the smallest fucking cock I've ever seen."

When I found out she was cheating and demanded the truth, "Oh my God, you sniveling little fuck. Because his cock is long and fat and I can actually feel it slide into me."

To the Six Foot Four Transvestite - m4w


I’ll file this under m4w as a compliment to your cross-dressing skills. Our paths crossed when you went to the voting center a few weeks back, presumably to vote.

You:

-Sporting a miniskirt. Heavy emphasis on "mini." I don't know what you had to do to fold your package in on itself but it was an epic feat (without venturing above the midriff, I might add). I can only imagine it involves a quarter-roll of packing tape and a gram of Vicodin every single day to pull off. Bravo, to you.

- Six-foot four. I can't imagine where one finds a miniskirt for a six-foot four man. Is there some WNBA clothing store I'm not aware of? Do you just tape two of them together and call it a day? Being about your height I know how hard it can be to find good-fitting clothes. For men. You found a miniskirt that you managed to contort into right after you taped your balls to your pelvis.

- The hair. I know, I know. It's hard enough to shave your face. And the fact that you were born a hairy male isn't helping your cause either. The face was shaved, sadly elsewhere was not. But you wore it proud. I'd classify your grooming as "tranny casual." I do think, though, that if you really want to sell people you're going to have to do something about that back hair. Your tank top, despite a heroic effort, was no match.

- The tank top. What’s a boygirl to wear when they go the miniskirt route? You answered definitively by sporting a tank top. Sure, your hair wasn’t deterred by a flimsy women’s garment, but most people probably stopped at the miniskirt, so who’s going to notice, right? I did, buddy. But I think with a good proper razor and some strong discipline, your broad shoulders will finally have the time in the spotlight they so rightfully deserve.

- The button. You had no intention of stopping at a miniskirt and tank top. Normal transvestites, dare I say the majority of them, would have ended it there. Not you, good sirmadam. The “ALPHA FEMALE” button was the icing on your cake. It wasn't a small button, either. Don't worry, if no one had noticed by then that you probably had your package vacuum-sealed to your lower stomach under the miniskirt, then you would’ve been just another tranny walking by. But I tell you that on Election Day, when every man woman and in-between was wearing a button, a thirty-something six-foot four oddly-broad-shouldered individual with a baritone voice wearing a large “ALPHA FEMALE” button really made a statement.

I was very impressed (and nothing more, mind you).