IBC

Went to a show and overdrank big time with some pals of mine tonight. One buddy couldn't shut up about craving pancakes and syrup. It turned into an Aunt Jemima vs Mrs. Butterworth argument. And as drunks, it continued.

IBC's opinion to settle things would add to the fun, as well as adding new show downs for discussion.

Among our drunk talk - Who would win a fist fight between:

Jemima vs Butterworth - Unanimously agreed Jemima would beat her ass big time.

Mr. Peanut vs Mr. Salty - Peanut would snap Salty like a twig.

Three-way cage match with Al Bundy, Homer Simpson, Peter Griffith - Whoever was most sober at the time dominates. Probably Bundy, but it would be a hell of a match to watch, and no surprise whoever wins.

Cuddles Bear vs Charmin Bear - Charmin Bear has a huge size advantage and a tougher job. He'd wipe his ass with the Cuddles Bear.

I think that's about as far as we got, I'm sure I forgot a few alcohol related arguments though. Add to it if you please fellas!

Aunt Jemima wins because she would use pots, pans and rolling pins to beat down Mrs. Butterworth. She is black after all.

Mr. Peanut would channel Preston Brooks and cripple Salty with his cane.

Al Bundy hands down. He once scored 4 touchdowns in one game. He's not fat and out of shape and Al was involved in a ton of fights on Married With Children and won most of them. Homer's never fought to my recollection and I can't remember Peter fighting anyone that wasn't Lois or a giant chicken.

Charmin Bear's size is too much to overcome

We discussed Homer's inexperience, but he has been in a few random fights. Usually when drunk. And remember his boxing career - he can take a punch. But he is very one-dimentional. You're right, Peter proved he can throw-down with the chicken, but not much else to go on. We favored Big Al as well.

Uncle Ben vs Mr Quaker came up last night as well.

Uncle Ben - has all the advantages as Aunt Jemima (are they married?). But he is older, thinner and we doubt he has any stamina.

Mr Quaker - just as old and probably in better shape (we've only seen his face, so we can't be sure). But being a Quaker, we doubt he'd have the killer instinct needed for victory.

We chose Uncle Ben narrowly, but the Quaker could land a shot and then apologize profusely through the entire ten-count for a victory.

The alcohol is wearing off, and I'm remembering some others.

Snoopy vs Marmaduke:

I lost this argument last night.

Marmaduke's size would slap down Snoopy. No Beagle could ever compete with the Marma-monster in a dog fight.

I don't agree.

Snoopy was so athletic, being a star SS and Wimbledon participant and all, he'd find a way to win, then relax on his doghouse while Woodstock talked jibberish.

Heathcliff vs Garfield:

We all agreed Garfield would not make the weigh-in, regardless of the weight class, and no fight would take place. And yes, we know, there is no limit in the heavyweight division, but come on........

And yes, also, my buddies and I need better entertainment outlets........