IBC

1. Junior Caminero - checks every box I look for in a player. Unbuttons at least six buttons on the jersey every game? Yep. Wears at least 4 gold chains at all times? Check. Slalom-type shades even in overcast skies? Mmmhmm. Looking to shatter stadium exit velo records on every swing? Bingo. Junior also has the always-coveted chip on his shoulder after being cast aside in favor of approximately 57 other Indians middle-infield prospects in a late-season deal for someone named Tobias Myers. Yikes. Anyways, the red flags would be that he seems largely uninterested in defense (or is that a positive? I can't decide), is still 19 years old in A-ball, and has a somewhat choppy bat path, which, paired with his overaggressive approach, fuels concerns that he'll be a bad-bodied 3B who can't play D and swings at everything. So basically Aramis Ramirez with more swag. Dope.

2. Emmanuel Rodriguez - should be #1, but the drip is a bit subpar at current. Weak. Anyway, Baby Soto decided to fake an injury and sit out half the season, likely figuring that a 29% walk rate (ummm....what) with a .279 ISO in 200 PAs was enough to skip 3 levels and spare Twins fans all across the great states of North Dakota and uh, South...Dakota the agony of watching Max Kepler pop out to second 14 times a week. Alas, it didn't happen, so he waited til sticky-stuff legend Gerrit Cole took the bump for the cross-state Yanks in late spring to make his triumphant return. First AB - 101 MPH off the bat. Second AB- 107. Fourth AB - homer off a big-leaguer to dead center. Yeah. Guy fucks.

3. Brett Baty - No real complaints here, other than the fact that his hometown isn't within a 4-hour radius of Santo Domingo. Dawg, you're lucky to be on the team with that backstory. Know ya role.

4. Ethan Salas - 16* and smashin'. Early word out of the zero-time World-Champion San Diego Padre camp is that the young Salas may be debuting in Low-A....or higher, where one of his teammates will likely have to drive him everywhere he goes. Sick. Hold me back in the complex actually? Anyway, other early word(s) relayed to world-renowned prose stylist Jon Heyman are that the young backstop has "Hall of Fame" potential, could make "10 all-star teams" and looks like an equally-boring version of Joe Mauer. Why didn't I take him with my first selection of the draft? Well, that article hadn't come out yet, obviously.

5. Oswald Peraza - Slick with the glove, allergic to the walk, likes to yank tanks to the pull side. Sounds like a shittier version of the exact dude I swapped for him, but this guy's 2 years younger and blocked, so he can just sit in AAA for the next, I don't know, six years and put up great numbers there. Always remember, kids, it's better to be great in AAA than good in the bigs - ZiPS 43:12.

6. Adael Amador - can hit. Is on the Rockies. Had more walks than Ks last year. Is being developed by the Rockies. Even hit a few bombs. Plays for Colorado. So yeah, we're praying for a trade.

7. Sammy Zavala - Another rando pulled out of the Pad Squad ass who's now tracking to elite levels, Sammy was in A-ball at 17 last year, where he wore #0, regularly sported a do-rag, and would often shake his head no after taking a close pitch. 70s across the board, folks.

8. Brice Turang - Looks like the typical kid from Corona, CA, which, if you've never been, means 'showers every full moon, has a rat mullet, probably wears Thrasher t-shirts, and still listens to Korn.' Also loves being in the infield so much he never hit the ball beyond it until midway through last year, when a random power surge erupted for no discernible reason. He'll play in the Pony League field Milwaukee calls home, which should help. Fingers crossed here, and look for the shredded tank top under the jersey this season.


Whew, that was tiring. Back for more soon!

Put my rankings to shame.

4 out of 8 used to be mine. I miss them...

9. Jake Eder - Eder's slider has a layover about halfway to the plate, pausing to refuel before resuming its ridiculous Matrix-like bend. The ever-savvy Marlins are no doubt salivating at the opportunity to deploy this rare talent in the 6th or 7th inning as soon as possible, so here's to hoping they get off to one of the most implausible starts in recent memory and are looking to deal from a position of depth. Robbie Ray is the comp for us here, in each of projected Ks, BBs, grunts per start, and who-knows-what-the-F-is-gonna-happen-next factor.

10. Jarlin Susana - Susana is a 6'6, 240 lb 19 year old who already touches 103 and I think had a handshake agreement with the Padres when he was 8. Will have to get that confirmed here soon tho

11. Nick Yorke - Feeling perhaps that 'tubby two-bagger who runs 5.2s to first and treats defense like a chore to be endured' wasn't their usual type, scouts all across America and also Japan were unenamored with the Red Sox' first selection in the uh...whatever year it was draft. Yorke quickly put zero of those concerns to rest after smashing his way to High-A in his first pro season, with an exquisite blend of balance, timing, in-zone contact rate, and other apparently relevant stuff that had analytic types across basements everywhere frothing at the . Last year was a slight hiccup, what with the dismal average, poor walk rate, and no power, though one live Arizona Fall League look had us dismissing all of that entirely. Plus I heard like half this league is a Red Sox fan.

12. Felnin Celesten - the only negative thing we can find on the interwebs about Felnin is that he currently barred from entering the United States for reasons unknown. In the 3 swings we were blessed with on YouTube, he looks to have a rare blend of athleticism, balance, bat speed, and the ever-elusive I'm-the-shit-and-I-know-it quality typically reserved for studs who get 4.5 million dollars at age 16.

13. Nick Frasso - the latest product of the totally above board and not at all fishy Dodgers Player Development machine, inspired entirely by 1970s Soviet Olympic science and equipped with the latest BALCO technology, Frasso was I believe a bullpen catcher in the Jays' organization before a midseason trade to LA saw him immediately sitting 96 with a dirty slider and sharp command. Right. Cuz that happens.

14. Luis Matos - Matos once saw a pitch he didn't like and then decided that was likely blasphemous, I believe. Last year he slugged like .211. Still, I saw him hit one in the upper deck foul yesterday and apparently he does stuff like this with regularity while manning a capable Center Field. So there's that.

15. Marco Raya - somewhere out there is a video of the 5'10, 140 lb Raya locking up Termarr Johnson with one of the filthiest benders I've ever seen from a player that age. He also sits 94 and wears a chain that went almost to his bellybutton, so we decided immediately he was a must-get.

16. Roderick Arias - if there were a Hall-of-Fame for 16 year old YouTube standout ballplayers, Arias would be its charter member. Switch hitter with serious juice, perfect actions at short, a strong arm, and ideal frame. His debut in the DSL was uh, not great - struck out something like 68% of the time, hit like one bomb, and apparently kicked the ball all around the janky island joints. The Astros brass is undeterred.

17. Brando(n)? Mayea - the dispute over the young Mayea's first name may last decades, we're told. Every Google search says Brandon, every prospect writer says Brando, but all agree the kid is probably a stud who's good at like everything and definitely isn't just a product of the Yankee Hype Machine. We're on board with all of it.

18. David Festa - our latest attempt to acquire every member of the Twins' farm system has resulted in a trade for Festa, about whom every online scouting report concedes three plus pitches are present while ranking him somewhere in WGAF territory. Seems weird, idk.

19. Cristian Santana - another prospect with weird vibes. Big bonus, no video. 23% above average offensive debut as super-young-for-level SS, no hype. Pretty swing, no love. Lotta swag, no haters. What is going on here

20. Willy Vazquez - Willy has his admirers, which are many, and his doubters, which are….also many. Fortunately he'll likely be playing with our boy Junior C. at every stop, and it simply might be a case of too much drip for opponents to handle.

21. Dylan Beavers - some would have Beavers much higher on this list. We need to see him do things like a) hit a homer in pro ball b) attempt to change the fly-swatting mechanism present in his swing's load c) handle lefties d) prove he can play center and 3) improve his bat flip game before totally buying in. The upside as a Joc Pederson before he got fat type is immense, though.

More to come.