Adam Dunn pitched!

BlueJays · Post by **BlueJays** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 10:40 am

http://wapc.mlb.com/cutfour/2014/08/05/ ... -white-sox

Not as good as Crush Davis' 2 shutout innings back in 2012, but I'd pay money to see the Big Donkey pitch.

Rockies · Post by **Rockies** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 11:08 am

Still one of my favorite players. Pretty awesome stuff.

BlueJays · Post by **BlueJays** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 12:46 pm

Astros wrote:Still one of my favorite players. Pretty awesome stuff.

I remember back when he and Austin Kearns were patrolling the OF in Cincy, they were both explaining to a reporter their golf club analogy. They'd spot women in the stands and describe her by how far away you'd have to be to think she's attractive, ie. Kate Upton = putter, fat cow = driver. I laughed pretty hard.

Rockies · Post by **Rockies** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 12:53 pm

LMAO.. Never heard that one.

Me and my buddies when we were younger used to prescribe batting averages to women based on their looks. .200 was called a mendoza. .300 was good and you were doing well to nab that girl. .400 was the unobtainable and out of your league girl you had no shot with but drooled over. Of course, with variations inbetween. Girl could be a .280 or a .320. We'd always say "what's her average?" "Idk, she's batting about a .310 I think.."

Athletics · Post by **Athletics** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:00 pm

Wow, that makes life way to difficult to base girls on averages.

My friends use 1-10 for looks and then the various leagues to rate them in terms of the game you would have to have to actually go out with them.

1-10 for personal looks
Teeball - MLB for personality, style, and aura.

For example, you could have a girl that was an 8 but would be playing at a HiA level because she isn't throwing you any Chapman type fastball's. And then you could easily come across at girl that was a 7 but has AAA game and knows how to get a guy out.

BlueJays · Post by **BlueJays** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:19 pm

We rated them 0 or 1. 0 for no, 1 for yes. Precise ratings are too difficult when under the influence of a 3 buckets of beer and 2 long island ice teas.

Astros · Post by **Astros** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:25 pm

Me and JP compare them to pitchers. So for example if there's a girl we're interested in and she's a Grienke then she's hot but isn't all right upstairs. I forget who else, I know someone he was into at one point was Danny Haren. We've went more towards football analogies lately

BlueJays · Post by **BlueJays** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:49 pm

I don't think I could say outloud "I want to bang Jose Fernandez."

Nationals · Post by **Nationals** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 2:11 pm

Orioles wrote:I don't think I could say outloud "I want to bang Jose Fernandez."

It's the first step on the road to self-acceptance.

BlueJays · Post by **BlueJays** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 2:20 pm

Twins wrote:
Orioles wrote:I don't think I could say outloud "I want to bang Jose Fernandez."
It's the first step on the road to self-acceptance.

Sometime after the All Star Break next year, maybe I'll be able to get there.

Athletics · Post by **Athletics** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 2:27 pm

Orioles wrote:I don't think I could say outloud "I want to bang Jose Fernandez."

So what type of girl would Jose be...a tall well built latin that brings alot of heat but can trip you up with a curve here and there?

And Steve, 0 or 1 is the type of analysis that even when stupidly drunk can get you in trouble, you better be quite conservative with giving the green light to a number 1. Much easier when you are still using 1-10, then even if beer goggles are saying she is a 9, at worst she is a 5 when sober. But you take a 7 and that could easily turn into a 3 or 2.

BlueJays · Post by **BlueJays** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 2:41 pm

You make it sound like a Jose Fernandez is a tranny.

Cardinals · Post by **Cardinals** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 3:30 pm

I'm a fan of the 20-80 scouting scale to reach the player comps. Curveballs have nothing to do with anything. So if a girl has 70 chest, 70 legs, 55 face but a 30 makeup/maturity, she needs a lot of time in the minors.

BlueJays · Post by **BlueJays** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 3:34 pm

So from my conversation with JP explaining the pitcher comp method, I think this is how it works...

Adam Wainwright = incredibly hot chick
Carlos Martinez = Very attractive girl with immature personality, could use some more seasoning in the minors
Bartolo Colon = MILF that put on a few pounds but would probably still be a fun ride
RA Dickey = chick with really bad moose knuckle

Rockies · Post by **Rockies** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 3:34 pm

Pirates wrote:I'm a fan of the 20-80 scouting scale to reach the player comps. Curveballs have nothing to do with anything. So if a girl has 70 chest, 70 legs, 55 face but a 30 makeup/maturity, she needs a lot of time in the minors.

Still, that sounds like all start potential if your can nourish the talent.. 55 face is nothing to sneeze at.

Still tho, I think this method is flawed. You're only listing 4 tools.. needs to be 5 tools.

Astros · Post by **Astros** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 4:17 pm

Well you left off the ass

Athletics · Post by **Athletics** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 4:30 pm

Pirates wrote:I'm a fan of the 20-80 scouting scale to reach the player comps. Curveballs have nothing to do with anything. So if a girl has 70 chest, 70 legs, 55 face but a 30 makeup/maturity, she needs a lot of time in the minors.

If you go this route, do you use the current and potential...because a 50 chest could in theory become a 80 chest with surgery...of course an asterisk is needed since we are in the steroid era.

Cardinals · Post by **Cardinals** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 4:46 pm

Right, it was an example. Rear end can be included and there's your fifth tool.

In that case, Stephen, everybody could be an 80 at everything because surgery does wonders. Let's not go crazy.

Rockies · Post by **Rockies** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 4:47 pm

Yeah, lets keep surgery out of the equation. You also need to do an overall grade. And I thought about "Ass" category and wondered if that was related to "legs" - I didn't want to presume.

Athletics · Post by **Athletics** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 5:07 pm

Haha, I don't think facial grades can always be corrected by surgery (see various celebrity actresses) and overall weight will effect how puffy the neck or cheeks so a person's face isn't always the same if they were fat and thin.

But yes, legs, chest, and ass can all be spiked to 80 by a good surgeon. So in theory, surgery is like steroids, it can only fix some things, not everything.

Cardinals · Post by **Cardinals** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 5:25 pm

Let's not overthink this. It's pretty simple.

BlueJays · Post by **BlueJays** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 5:27 pm

So does a Doug Fister give or receive fistings?

Athletics · Post by **Athletics** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 5:40 pm

Haha...what about other weird names like Anibal Sanchez or RA Dickey or Travis Wood. Is it based upon how good they are or what their name could imply?

Cardinals · Post by **Cardinals** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 5:57 pm

I'm retiring my scale.