August 20 Power Rankings

[Nationals]

Contributors: Twins



Rankings
1. Reds - Cronus

The great Cronus was the mover and shaker before the advent of the Olympians--a status quo he enforced by eating his children, until Zeus came along and with help from mother Rhea, he castrated Cronus. Now I'm not going to push the comparison that far on Nate, but he has done a fine job devouring his opponents in a fairly weak NLC this season.

2. Yankees - Zeus

Like this comparison was any surprise. JB has continued his domination of the IBC this season, much as Zeus was the ruler of gods and men from the heights of Olympus. Just as it took Zeus a little while to claim supremacy, JB has not been at the top of the AL Beast much up to this point but now, despite some injury troubles, things are clicking for this fearsome force.

3. BlueJays - Achilles

The Best of the Achaians, Achilles was fated to never see the fall of Troy. One of the elite teams of the IBC in previous years and into this one, the Fates have decreed that he not see the second round of the playoffs. Now, with one of the most frightening offenses in the league, it seems that the Fates might be beaten.

4. Orioles - Hector

The most noble figure of the Iliad is the Trojan Prince, Hector. His fighting skill was unmatched, save for Achilles, who slew him before the walls of Troy. Wrong place, wrong time. Just like Baltimore. In any other division, Jason would have a postseason berth pretty much locked up, but not in the Beast. An offense like his deserves the glory of bards to sing its tale, but probably not this year.

5. Athletics - Clytemnestra

Upon his homecoming, the leader of the Achaians, Agamemnon, was slain by his wife Clytemnestra in a blood orgy of massive proportions. Lesson: don't turn your back. This descriptor fits Jake's Athletics to a T, with their propensity for making teams pay for relaxing their guard. The comparison extends to the polyglot roster fielded by Jake--not many guys who would make me turn my head, just as Clytemnestra was the sister of Helen.

6. Marlins - Minos

Minos gets a bad rap in mythology. Yes, he had that whole greed/golden touch thing going on and his wife slept with a bull, but he was a lawgiver and was made a judge in Hades, so he can't have been all bad. Dan has a slim lead in the NL East with a roster that probably should be a bit farther ahead than it is--which makes him dangerous to under-estimate

7. Twins - Castor & Pollux

The legendary brothers, one mortal, one immortal. As the myth goes, they made a deal with the gods that Pollux (the mortal one) would live for eternity, if he and his brother would die on alternate days. This alternate dying could very well explain the IBC Twins' propensity for contention this season, despite a roster that is not exactly the most impressive one in the league

8. Padres - Hades

The Chthonian Zeus, Hades just never gets any respect. Same with this Padres squad. Hades can blame his woes on being in the Underworld while Martin can blame his on...being in the NL West. This shouldn't be, as the three-headed Cerberus starting staff of Hamels, Dice-K and Sabathia are just as ferocious as their mythological parallel.

9. Braves - Odysseus

Polymetis Odysseus--the crafty one. Odysseus made his name not through feats of brute strength but through trickery and deception. After a season of questions being raised about Atlanta's squad based on its poor run differential, it looks like this team very much is for real--though if it will reach its destination of the postseason as Odysseus arrived at home is somewhat in doibt.

10. Mariners - Heracles

No Greek hero has a more up-and-down life than Heracles. Classicist Barry Powell says of him "He destroyed evil, sinned greatly, loved unwisely, fathered a whole race, and died shamefully at a woman's hand, yet he received his triumphant reward." That reward will not be coming this season for Ropers, as the white flag has been raised, despite putting the pressure on early this season.

11. Cardinals - Hermes

The only one who has crossed more boundaries than Aaron is Hermes, the god of boundary-crossing. After starting the season in close contention with Nate, St. Louis has crossed into the realm of fighting for a wild card slot. Will they cross the ultimate boundary--from World Series champion to not making the playoffs?

12. DBacks - Theseus

The Athenians were keen on including their national hero in all mythology so his exploits were paralleled to Heracles and he was grafted into so many tales that the expression arose in Athens "Not without Theseus." Jagger has been able to hang around this season, despite having one of the youngest rosters. Not without Arizona!

13. Dodgers - Athena

Goddess of Wisdom and crafts--where would we be without the crafts of Shawn? Additionally, Athena was the goddess of war--and now with Liriano gettin closer to his old self, Shawn is primed to go on the offensive.

14. Phillies - Diomedes

Poor Diomedes. He's the forgotten hero of the Iliad. Not quite as smart as Odysseus, not quite as strong as Ajax, not quite as mighty as Achilles, not quite as well-born as Agamemnon, Diomedes is the consummate second-place finisher. Yet he had his runs of glory and Nick, with his powerful rotation, has the arsenal to achieve his own aristeia.

15. Royals - Penelope

With her husband Odysseus gone for 20 years, Penelope waited patiently at home for his return, besieged by suitors. Z has been waiting for a taste of post-season play for some time yet has always come up a bit short. With the injuries sustained this year causing the pre-season favorite to short sell his squad, Z's long wait could continue into 2009.

16. Nationals - Pan

Are they over- or under-achieving? The squad is at .500, but have a +62 run differential--though of all the rosters one would expect to see at a +62, this is not at the top of the list. So could the answer be both? It's a liminal team, much like Pan, who exists somewhere between revered and reviled.

17. RedSox - Hephaestus

As the architect of the league, Bren is much like the master craftsman, Hephaestus. Just like the divine craftsman, he is also one of the more disrespected people in the league, often made a point of fun for his statements, just as Hephaestus was. Yet he has the assets to put together a squad that will challenge. Just not this year.

18. Tigers - Menelaus

Just as Menelaus married the sexiest woman in the land, Brett has a collection of the best under-25 talent in the league. Now whether he'll be able to hang on to this group long enough to make a run at the Central crown is anyone's guess--he had better watch out for the Parises of the IBC who might come in and steal his prize.

19. Astros - Pelius

There was a prophecy that Thetis would bear a son who would be greater than his father that caused Zeus to decide not to shag her and instead marry her off to the mortal Pelius--a union that spawned Achilles. Looking at his breakout MLB season, Chad Billingsley is the Thetis of the IBC. From the union of Billingsley and Houston, great things will be born.

20. Giants - Chiron

Chiron, a centaur, was the tutor of Achilles and trained him in the ways of war and wisdom (well, as much wisdom as that muscle-bound brain could hold) and then just kinda faded away. Nils has been in a fade of his own since his early run of glory that culminated in a 2005 World Series. Still, one never takes a centaur for granted (or to a wedding), and we shan't look down on a team with Jake Peavy and Josh Hamilton

21. WhiteSox - Dionysus

If there were fans in the IBC, they might be driven to drink given the history of the White Sox. How appropriate, then, that I reference the god of viticulture. Among the women of Greece, the worship of Dionysus consisted of going into the woods, getting smashingly drunk and holding orgies and then tearing up small fuzzy animals, just like what Adrian Gonzalez does with his bat.

22. Rockies - Medusa

The launching pad that is Coors Field is a horror for pitchers but a haven for offense--just like Medusa who possessed a smokin' body but a less-than-homely face. The brown bag is off in Colorado after the trade of one-year wunderkind Joe Dillon.

23. Indians - The Graeae

The aged ones, sharing one eye and one toot between the three of them should lend an example to Kelly's squad which was old and slow at the beginning of the season but now, thanks to trades, retains a form that will be more formidable down the line

24. Mets - Tiresias

The great seer of the Theban cycle could not, in fact see. Thus is Jim's squad, oozing with talent but will it ever see fruition? Not this year.

25. Cubs - Icarus

While escaping with his father, Icarus flew too close to the sun and melted his wings, falling to the sea below. Gabe reached the pinnacle of the IBC in 2006 but his wax has fast evaporated as his aged roster has retired, thus sending him Down.

26. Brewers - Thersites

In the Iliad, Thersites is described as the ugliest of all the Greeks in form and mind before Odysseus whacks him over the head with a staff. I wouldn't go as far as to call Jake's team the ugliest in the IBC, but this season, it could be close.

27. Pirates - The Danaids

50 sisters were to be married to their 50 cousins. 49 sisters killed their husbands on their wedding night and now carry water in sieves for eternity. It seems that the continual rebuilding in Pittsburgh has finally ended but a consistent roster might be as far away as the water draining from the sieves.

28. Rays - Tantalus

In the old times, Tantalus was privileged to have open communication with the gods. So one day he invited the gods over for dinner and tested them by cutting his son up and stewing him. As punishment for this, he was forever to be near food and drink in the underworld, but never able to consume. Such is life for the erstwhile cellar-dweller of the AL East.

29. Rangers - Charybdis

The famed whirlpool of the Odyssey, there was much sucking going on. A little like this squad this season.

30. Angels - Sisyphus

Forever rolling the boulder up the hill of mediocrity in the AL West

[Rockies]

One of my favorite power rankings. RIP Andrew.

[Astros]

My favorite one ever he did on the old board, I think he did it on the plane to or from Italy. He compared everyone to Roman emperors. I got Diocletian

[Giants]

Yeah I got Elagabalus who I had never heard of, and probably never would have known anything about. Fast forward to 4 years ago I was in Italy for the first time and wandering through the Roman ruins on the Palatine hill I randomly find a new excavation that was, guess what, a palace of Elagabalus'. Shawn if there's any way to resurrect that post I'd be much obliged.

[Dodgers]

Yeah I got Elagabalus who I had never heard of, and probably never would have known anything about. Fast forward to 4 years ago I was in Italy for the first time and wandering through the Roman ruins on the Palatine hill I randomly find a new excavation that was, guess what, a palace of Elagabalus'. Shawn if there's any way to resurrect that post I'd be much obliged.

Do you think it was from when we had the proboards forum? If so, it looks like at some point proboards purged inactive boards and says they're not accessible

[Giants]

It was from 2006, can't remember a world before oopss so I can't tell you what we were using then. I wonder if the wayback machine can help.

[Cardinals]

Pro boards in 06

[Royals]

It was from 2006, can't remember a world before oopss so I can't tell you what we were using then. I wonder if the wayback machine can help.

I remember a world before OOPSS. It SUCKED. Thank you a thousand times Shawn for all you have done for the league.