Rankings
1. BlueJays -
Yoda. Its fitting that the wise Jedi master is given to the wise sim master. Every year Pat contends and ends up winning over 90 games. This year he has done it by getting crazy production out of a lot of guys that he is platooning in the lineup. The loss of Smoltz has brought him back to the rest of the AL East but he still is out ahead of JB and Jason. Some may dismiss Pat because hes not a visible member, rarely posting, emailing or signing guys, but dont make that mistake. Anyone who has seen Episode II can tell you what happens when you underestimate Yoda, he ends up owning you in a lightsaber duel.
2. Reds -
Emperor Palpatine. Nate has plotted for years to take over the IBC and has been met with difficulty at most every turn due to injuries and other mishaps. A lot of times, Nate was dismissed, with people saying that sooner or later the Nate curse would strike and deprive him of his best players and he would miss the playoffs. After winning the Wild Card last year, Nate has ran away from the rest of the NL and is going to be very difficult to stop. Emperor Palpatine started off as Senator Palpatine from the planet of Naboo, replacing Queen Amadala in the Senate. All the while manipulating the Senate, he was really a Sith lord, consolidating his power and using others as pawns in his game. He used his disfigurement caused by Mace Windu to dissolve the Senate and start the Empire, which he ran with Darth Vader as his right hand man until the second Death Star was destroyed. Will someone be able to stop Nate, or will he crush whatever rebellion rises up against him?
3. Yankees -
Darth Vader. JBs Yankees are the embodiment of the evil empire. A stacked team with seemingly no holes and yet he still manages to win in every trade he does. What an asshole. While most have cowered at JBs power for a long time, he still has only one World Series title. The Yanks are menacing and intimidating, but they need to start ruling with an iron fist before everyone will get in line. Darth Vader underestimated the Rebels attack on the first Death Star and was defeated because he had to personally destroy the fighters making a run at the exhaust port. He had success by destroying the Hoth base and taking over Cloud City. He met his demise trying to defeat Luke on the second Death Star. If he was more focused and less cocky, there never would have been a Hoth, Cloud City or second Death Star. If and when JB decides to run away with it, Baltimore and Toronto will be eating dust.
4. Orioles -
Obi Wan. Jason’s team has hung in there and still manages to lead JB at the All Star break despite most people expecting him to drop off at any time. The force is strong with him. However, Jasons luck is starting to turn, with Magglio Ordonez going on the DL as soon as he traded for him and Oswalt hurting, he has no room for error. Sooner or later, the Yankee juggernaut will probably overpower him. He may have to accept the fate of Obi Wan when he dueled with Vader on the Death Star. Put down your lightsaber, be struck down and hope to become more powerful than JB could ever imagine.
5. Cardinals -
Han Solo. Han is sort of a firecracker and you never knew what you would expect from him. Sometimes he wanted to help Leia and the republic, and sometimes he just wanted to worry about himself. Whatever he wanted to do, except for when he was frozen in carbonite, he did it well and was a hero in many senses. He was rewarded after Episode 4 for his role in the Death Star destruction, much like St. Louis received their championship rings last year. You never really know what Aaron is doing since he typically holds his (no pun) cards pretty close, and could decide to rebuild or go for the gold.
6. Athletics -
Count Dooku. Dooku appears with little or no backstory in the new trilogy, but wields some sort of power and has some connections to Palpatine and Yoda but it's never fully touched upon. In Episode 3, he's disposed of relatively quickly. The A's are pretty similar to this- this will be their second playoff appearance (two movies appearances for Dooku) and with a rotation anchored by Mark DiFelice and Dan Haren, while also throwing somebody named Rowdy Hardy at you- it's likely they will be disposed of quickly in their second big show appearance.
7. Padres -
Luke Skywalker. Luke has always been the bastard child of all the major characters despite his role probably being the most important next to Anakin/Vaders for the entire series. He restores order to the galaxy through his training and the old trilogy is largely based off of him, but, Han Solo, Leia, Chewie, R2D2, C-3PO, Yoda and Vader are all much more popular characters. The Padres have an excellent roster, one of the better ones in the league, and have a good a chance as winning the 08 World Series as anybody, but, nobody really seems to notice or care about the Padres.
8. Twins -
C3Po. I think Andrew knows a couple less languages than C3Po, but its a close race. The defending AL champ has been to the playoffs the last two years and leads the AL Central at the break by 4 games. While his team may not scare you at first glance, it wins and wins a lot, so looks can be deceiving. Andrew likes to use big $10 words that most of us have no understanding of what they mean, but at least he’s not as annoying as this droid.
9. Royals -
Landos a fitting comparison given the cross state rivalry the Cards for a man that’s always on the move. The Royals have been christened the AL Central champs going into the season for 3 years now and have yet to come out on top. Z has a solid team top to bottom and will more then likely be neck and neck with Andrew the remainder of the way. While he has a propensity to deal away big time starting pitching in deals people question at the time, in the end he usually ends up smelling like a rose. Who wouldnt do Chris Young for Jurrjens and Saunders now? Brett is in a lot of ways like Lando. Lando was always on the move looking for something better; usually because he had bounty hunters or people he owed money to after him. He lost the Millennium Falcon to Han Solo in a card game and won Cloud City gambling. I think weve all lost track of the number of jobs Zs had in the past few years, but one of these days his gambling will pay off with an AL Central title.
10. Braves -
Boba Fett. Brandons Braves once again find themselves at the top of the NL East and this year it aint because of Hiram Bocachica. This should be a tight race all the way through, and anyone can land on top, and whoever does will be a hard out in the playoffs due to the battles they’ve been through in the regular season. Boba Fett was one of numerous bounty hunters hired by the Empire to track down Han Solo following his escape from Hoth with Princess Leia. His knowledge of Solo and his habits led him to following him to Cloud City and taking him back to Jabba the Hutt. If they make it to the playoffs, the Braves will be like Boba Fett, hard to kill.
11. Phillies -
Darth Maul. Darth Maul was the ultimate bad ass in Episode I. He was, at the time, the only known Sith around and he made Qui Gon mince meat. Much like Maul, the Phillies had their moment in the sun in the first year of the IBC when they captured the inaugural title. Since then, theyve been slapped around some, but this year are in prime position to make a run back to postseason glory.
12. Marlins -
Nute Gunray. The only villain aside from Palpatine to appear in all three prequels, Gunray was more of a political figure than a fighter. He had control over the Trade Federation and was in with the Sith and Palpatine. However, his story arc was never really fulfilled and he ended up dying and I dont think anybody really cared. The Marlins, like Gunray, control a lot of the IBCs talent, but that has not resulted in a playoff berth yet. After fleeing the AL East, the Marlins have been snake bit by injuries and have yet to establish themselves in the NL East.
13. Mariners -
General Greivous. Greivous seemed to be a pretty powerful and elder character in Episode III before finally being disposed of by Obi Wan in a pretty cool scene. He had some pretty powerful connections and seemed to lead the droid army- even though it was really Palpatine calling the shots. The Mariners have had plenty of success in years past, but injuries have seemed to have really derailed their past two season- much like Greivous had his cyborg hack- to the point where they can't win the IBC's easiest division. A return to glory for the Mariners could be in order with a few impact moves in 2008, otherwise it's looking like 2009 for the Snake Bit M's.
14. Dodgers -
Wedge. Shawns Dodgers are often overlooked as Martin has opened a lead in the NL West and the rest of the pack is tightly bunched, with nobody being more than 7.5 games out of first. The Dodgers have a solid core of talent and never put it past Shawn to swing a couple of deals that may seem minor at the deadline to put him over the top. Add in all the work Shawn does on the website and youve got someone with enormous contributions. To most casual fans, Wedge Antilles is just that X-Wing pilot that lives through all 3 movies. Die hard Star Wars fans know that Wedge, not Luke, was the leader of Rogue Squadron (hey, who remembers that game for N64? Man that was awesome), the Rebel Alliances individual fighters that was always giving the empire headaches with hit and run missions or destroying the Death Stars. Wedge was always there to get other fighters off the tail of comrades, be it guys who would die and have no lines or Luke Skywalker. The Rebellion does not win its war without the contributions of Wedge, and the IBC does not run smoothly without the contributions of Shawn.
15. DBacks -
Watto. Watto, for those unfamiliar with the first episode mainly but episode 2 as well, was the junk and scrap dealer who owned Anakin and Shmi Skywalker. Always known to try to peddle and haggle a deal, trying to pawn his goods on everybody, Watto was the used-car salesman of Star Wars. All he did was accumulate all the parts and pieces he could and then try to pawn them off on others. Jagger has done the same through his drafting and signing, gathering up one of the better 1-50 rosters in the league. Of course, we've all seen his emails and bold, italics laden emails trying his hardest to sell his parts for better parts, much like Watto would I'd have to think.
16. Giants -
Sebulba. Sebulba, again for those who blocked Episode I out of their memory, was the Pod Racer that young Anakin was sent in to defeat. Sebulba was the king shit- the cream of the crop and there was no way he could possibly lose to anybody else- especially a young boy. Sebulba's winning history gave him too much pride and led to his downfall. While pride may not have led to the Giants recent downfall, they certainly have as many postseason awards as anybody else in this league currently. Unfortuantely for the Giants, the other four teams in the division have finally caught up to him and the Giants no long stand out among everybody in the division.
17. Nationals -
Grand Moff Tarkin. Kens sim voodoo has not carried over from Houston to Florida and now Washington. His team is still tough to beat and could win the NL East. Ken is very by the book about things, whether it be guys he signs, who he plays, or following of rules and procedures of the IBC. Grand Moff Tarkin was the by the book man in charge on the Death Star. The only person in the Empire that could challenge Vader and make him back down, he had advanced through his cold calculating tactics. He even implemented the Tarkin Doctrine. What I can only assume were space hippies were protesting something on a landing platform where an imperial ship was going to dock. Instead of telling them to disperse, Tarkin landed the ship on top of them, killing them and letting everyone else know what he would do to get his way. He ruled through fear. NL East foes should be afraid of Ken making a run and getting a lead in the second half of the season, cause he will be tough to stop if he does.
18. Rockies -
Jabba the Hutt. If Bobby were still around, we couldve gave him Jabba and made a fat joke. Johns fell off a little in the West, from coming in second last year and challenging Shawn right up until the end to bringing up the rear at the break this season. However, while John may not be a major power in the IBC, he is still somebody to be reckoned with and that you have to respect. He could still make a run at the NL West or Wild Card and a move or two would greatly help his chances. In the grand scheme of the Star Wars universe, Jabba the Hutt was a minor player overall but a major player in the outer systems that the Empire did not have great control over. These far away systems were controlled by crime lords like the Hutts, who did as they pleased as long as they didn’t interfere with the Empire. Johns a minor player overall right now in the IBC landscape, but still someone you dont want to cross or risk having some losses rack up.
19. Tigers -
Mace Windu. Windu was one badass Jedi. First, I think he was the only black Jedi so that makes him awesome by default. Secondly, it was Samuel L. Problem for Mace, as smart as he was, he was almost too smart. He had a chance to go for the kill and take out Palpatine, but the Jedi in him said no dice and it led to his demise. The Tigers could easily have traded off a lot of their minor league system and sacrificed their young talent in order to gain the SP and RP to win this year, but instead stuck to their Jedi Code and will keep the team intact and go for a 2009 playoff run.
20. Indians -
Admiral Ackbar. ITS A TRAP! Now with imitation crab meat. Kellys strategy going into the season was trading for a bunch of old guys, hoping for some good sims and make a run at the AL Central. Turns out having 8 DHs isnt the best way to run a team. This strategy has turned out to bite him in the ass, because the seniority of the players didnt matter when they didnt perform. There had to be a reason Ackbar was an admiral other than the alliance needed a catfish in an authority position. He was in command of the Rebel fleet in the attack on the second Death Star and left it sitting to be slaughtered when the Death Star turned out to be operational instead of pulling all of his forces away from battle and living to fight another day. Only through the luck of Han Solo knocking out the deflector shield on Endor were the Rebels able to destroy the Death Star and win, otherwise the end of the Rebellion would have been on the hands of Ackbar.
21. RedSox -
Ewoks. Maybe its because Bren is on the short side of life, but maybe theres more to it than just that. The Ewoks, notably Wicket, were essential despite how goofy they were for destroying the Empire once and for all. Without the Ewoks, the shield never comes off the second Death Star and the Empire rule the Galaxy with an iron fist. Without Bren, there would never have been an IBC, and they have their Death Star destruction run and glory when they took home the 2003 IBC World Championship.
22. Cubs -
Sand People. Like the Sand People, the Cubbies can be dangerous but are mostly a mild annoyance. Gabes win now, screw the future strategy got him a ring 2 years ago and has gotten him mediocrity since. While he does have some nice players, its going to take a lot of work to be a contender again, and with Gabe having disappeared for most of the summer, who knows if hes up to the task. Oh, Gabes also Sand People because hes a camel jockey
23. WhiteSox -
Jar Jar Binks. Jar Jar was most prominent in Episode I. The White Sox had their best year in the first year of this league, our Episode I. Jar Jar was pretty silly, but served his purpose in the movies, helping the Gungans and the native Naboo people stop the Trade Federations army from getting control of Naboo. Degan can still drum up some interest in the players on his team, much like Jar Jar could get the Gungans to rally and work with the humans, but itll take a bit more than that to compete in an increasingly tough AL Central.
24. Pirates -
Anakin Skywalker. Anakin had some success before he turned to Darth Vader and embraced evil. He won the Pod Races, was the chosen one, trained and became a Jedi and won some clone wars. Then the wheels fell off the wagon, he lost his hand to Dooku and then was slaughtered by Obi Wan and left for dead. There was also a lot of internal conflict with Anakin with Padme as well as whether he should be good or bad. The Pirates had a lot of early success with their 2003 team winning 105 games and an NL pennant and the 2004 version winning 100 games and advancing to the NLCS. Since then its been all downhill as the Pirates were left for dead the past two seasons, but, there is still hope in the team with the farm system loaded and the chosen one to bring balance to the league, Tim Lincecum.
25. Mets -
Chewbacca. Jims squad sits at the bottom of a tough NL East, the victim of being a year away. Jims squad is no pushover though, and he will have an opportunity to play the role of spoiler as the season progresses. Jims role of spoiler lands him Chewbacca because by knocking off his NL East opponents, he will be helping out the current wild card leading Cardinals. Chewie was Hans loyal copilot throughout the first three films, always willing to help though rarely doing anything pivotal aside from being Leias bounty to get into Jabbas palace in an attempt to free Han.
26. Astros -
Jango Fett. Jengo was the prototype for the whole clone army and was a pretty badass bounty hunter. His story arc still felt pretty incomplete with his role being fairly minimal overall except for giving way to the better badass, Boba Fett. The Astros have a GM that seems to know what he is doing, but has been destroyed this year. The story arc for the Stros is still incomplete, but, the GM and his squad will either be vindicated in all the moves theyve made or become a joke and nothing more than a decapitated bounty hunter.
27. Brewers -
R2-D2. R2 was one of the most loved characters in Star Wars and one of the few to appear in all six films. R2 played a pivotal role in the movies, always being in the right place at the right time with the proper knowledge to get by and help his friends escape trouble. R2 never could get by as a standalone character, though, and always needed the rest of the cast. Like R2, Jake is equipped with knowledge that he has now used to amass a pretty good foundation of young talent anchored by Longoria. Also like R2 never did anything on his own, Jake has yet to make an impact in the standings, but that could change as soon as the calendar turns to 2009.
28. Rangers -
Greedo. Seth has a couple nice players. It will be quite a while before he has a shot at contention. He needs to deal off guys like Kerry Wood at the deadline for a bounty of prospects from a contender, so long as said contender isnt Nate. By making a couple of deals like that, in a couple years Seth may be ready to win and make the big bucks. Greedo was a bounty hunter employed by Jabba the Hutt. He ran into Han Solo in Mos Eisley spaceport on Tattoonie and confronted him. Instead of disarming him and taking him to Jabba, he ran his mouth and had his head blown off. Right now Seths a lot closer to dead, head blown off Greedo than getting any kind of reward money, so he has work to do.
29. Rays -
Jawas. Pat has a ton of young talent on the way, a lot of it pitching. Lately he has been acquiring some older position players in order to set himself up for a future run. If he can get another impact bat, next year you may see the Rays near the top of the AL East, especially if Smoltz doesnt come back and the Os come back to earth. Like Pat, the Jawas always have parts to deal. While theyre nothing more than nomadic short people that have a giant junk yard, they do sell stuff that helps important people. The sale of R2-D2 to Lukes uncle Owen lead to the Rebellion getting the Death Star plans. Pats recent dealings of pitching to contenders may lead to some team making or winning the World Series that may not have otherwise.
30. Angels -
Stormtroopers. The Halos used to be the laughingstock of the league, the dime a dozen team. You could easily use a Jedi Mind Trick to get the player you wanted from the Angels, much like you could on a Stormtrooper to get by. Not so much anymore as Dave has a much better grasp on youth and how players value are and how the league works. He just needs to apply that 1-50 on his roster and he could rise up through the standings and surprise people in an astonishingly mediocre division. Until he proves his worth in the standings, no matter how much young talent he has, the Angels will still be the stormtroopers of the league until further notice.
